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LittleFreezer
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Name: Jake
Birthday: 2/28/1990
Gender: Male
Interests: Life, love, and hapiness i guess, i adore concerts/ bands/ and music and guitar, fireworks and fires, rain at night, lightning at night,g-i-r-l-s : D, dark mornings on the bus, walking barefoot, playing outside "night games" [nite of the wolves...etc] , all foods xept some fish, paintballing and airsofting, designing and building things, hanging w/ friends, youthgroup stuff [mission trips....etc..] , phone calls [cough hint hint : D] , cars and fast speedious things, all eletronics and mechanical things, beaches, watching the sun go down on a beach, walking with people, hacky-sacking, and lots lots MORE!
Expertise: hm....girls?? um...no not really lol..., sleeping, playing guitar, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, making dumb mistakes, helping people in need, building stuff, and of course doing daring and stupid things..........those times will go down in history i tell you!
Occupation: Engineering
Industry: Media
Message: message me
AIM:  guitarvreez
Yahoo:  riffboy2003
Member Since:
12/11/2004
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Since I've been at Calvin I haven't dated anyone, nor come close in any way.
I have served many of my friends by helping them with their relationship issues--whether it be talking through a break up, asking someone out, or just trying to decide if he/she has a crush or not..... sometimes friend issues... Anyways, I find myself in these "shrink-like" situations quite often. I've been told that I have a lot of knowledge and good advice in these situations, and since people often come to me, I figure I must help in some way. But I find it odd, no matter how good my advice is, it's so hard to swallow it myself.
Maybe I just think too hard, take too much time to decide whether I like someone or not, maybe I'm afraid. I haven't found anyone here who I'm interested in-seriously anyways...there's plenty of cute girls : P
Lately I've been struggling with whether I want to date again...
I have a problem with lust [as I guess many do these days]. This unfortunately makes me see girls in a way that is not entirely healthy, or true to their nature. I look for how cute they are before I look to see how beautiful they are [inwardly]. I've found in the past, that having a girlfriend has made me want to be a better [and therefore more pure] person; this is to say: if i were to date again, would I be doing it only for my own selfish reasons? Would I be playing my part in order to look good, become a better person [but not necessarily], and feel good about it?
On the other hand, I know what true beauty looks like, I've seen it in many girls, and it excites me. Many of the girls I know and hang out with are great and a TON of fun to be with, but not many of them seem to have things "figured out." In other words, they still have the high school outlook on dating. I know that these relationships don't last, and so by dating one, I will be using that person instead [knowing it will end eventually].
I guess this has been on my heart lately. It's so hard to stay pure, to stay focused, and importantly to stay myself when I feel like I have no one to live for. I'm quite honestly, very lonely, even with the many friends I have, and have made. I know that I don't need to prove myself to anyone [ive always believed that], but it's nice to have someone to care for, and be special too. I know I can live for my religious beliefs, but sometimes its hard to really LIVE.
But I will stay strong and continue to live, learn, love, and grow in my spiritual walk with God, and with my love for life. I know that what ever happens, it's for a reason, and will make me a better person!
~jake | | |
| Its been awhile since ive gone here- my own little place to complain or praise the random events in my life.....
unfortunetly i dont have much to complain about here, nor do i have any praise.
A couple nights ago i couldn't sleep, and some thoughts from awhile ago began haunting me again, so i read, played some acoustic guitar, and wrote yet another song. Its actually quite a pretty song in essence, i just need to find a way for the music to feel what i do in that song. It's a song of forgiveness and of kept promises- or rather, things i promised and will keep.
I realized awhile ago, that i dont like things that are unfinished. Whether that be a project, homeowork, conversations, friendships, or even something as seemingly-simple as faith. I will in any case, persue -at any cost- the finishing chapter of whatever was left unfinished, if i have reason to. Reason and time to finish that which i have left unfinished- that which will therefore burn a hole inside of me until i complete it.
To be lost inside of a world so close to home, and yet impossibly far away....
To gain nothing from everything, and yet gaining everything from nothing...
I should write a song about this too : )
~jake
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| Is there anybody out there?
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| Ive had this sond stuck in my head all day!
Years ago a future laid before me
And I took the task and ran with it as far as I could go
I always wanted to be a part of something like this
You believed in me, and its all I needed
Before I go, please know that I love you
With all of my heart
My heart my heart is beating for you!
I want you to know that
I'll be thinking of you where ever I go
Tonight I am standing with you
A chance to change the world as we know it
The feeling of lights upon me feel so perfect
You are here with me and thats all I need
Before I go, please know that I love you
With all of my heart
My heart my heart is beating for you!
I want you to know that
I'll be thinking of you where ever I go
Before I knew you, before I saw your face
Life had its reasons for keeping love away
Spring turned to summer
And summer into fall
Then came September
We began it all
[if only i could put the music up here, its so catchy!...not like anyones reading this anyways...lol]
~jake
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| [a fast pased industrial song...like Linkin Park meets japanese metal meets Blue October]
V:1
I've got a secret, do you wanna hear it
Theres days i love you, , and days i really dont
Dont let it sink it, dont cry through the night
cause themore you try to change this the more we'll fight!
CHORUS:
This is the way I've always felt
This is the way it's got to be
the choice is yours so make it [now!]
are you staying here or leaving me!
V:2
I am who I am, I'm sorry for this
Sorry for the lies at night and sorry for the pain
No I won't change, cause then it's not me
you'll never know just who I am, and never see!
[chorus]
V:3
I know that those, they look so tempting
Keep away from them and show your face
No, it's not worth it, theres still so much to do
funny now to think it, but I live for you!
[chorus]
BRIDGE: (2x)
Funny now to think it but I live for you
Funny how it all makes sense
I'm trapped within my own barriers and I'm so diseased
Funny that I still love you
This is the way I've always felt
This is the way it's got to be
the choice is yours so make it [now!]
are you staying here or leaving me!
This is the way I've always felt
This is the way it's got to be
the choice is yours so make it [now!]
are you staying here or leaving me!
later--------------------------------------------------------------------------jake
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